Bits of songs and broken drums
Are all he could recall
So he spoke to me
In a bastard tongue
Carried on the silence of the guns
"It's been a long long time
since they first came
And marched through our village
They taught us to forget our past
And live the future in their image"
They said
'You should learn to speak a little bit of English
Maybe practise birth control
Keep away from controversial politics
So to save my third world soul
They said
'You should learn to speak a little bit of English
Don't be scared of a suit and tie.
Learn to walk in the dreams of the foreigner
-- I am a Third World Child
Johnny Clegg and Savuka’s Third World Child
Under low swirling
gray clouds and rocked by the choppy North Atlantic Ocean,
John Winthrop preached one of the most resonant sermons in American history from the deck of the frigate Arabella. In A
Model of Christian Charity, Winthrop
challenged his auditors to become a "Citty on a hill', a beacon of Christianity
to inspire the world. The puritan errand
into the wilderness should have provoked tens of thousands to follow the saints
and create a New Jerusalem in the New World. Unfortunately, the puritan dream ran aground
on Gallows Hill in Salem
in 1692. Nonetheless, hundreds of
thousands followed in their wake; not to seek a New Jerusalem but to seek
freedom and economic opportunity.
When Louis XIV
revoked the Edict of Nantes in 1685, over 100,000 Huguenots left France for the New York colony. Seventy-five percent of the immigrants in the
17th Century were indentured servants from England,
but after mid-century their numbers dwarfed in comparison to the inundation of
Blacks from Africa, of whom over 900,000 were brutally transported to America between
1619 and 1808. Irish immigration
continued to rise steadily from the 1790's through the Civil War to peak in the
1840's during the Irish potato blight.
Chinese immigrants built the Central Pacific east from Sacramento in the post-bellum period, but Chinese
immigration was cut off for a time by the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1894.
From 1885 to 1910,
27 million people immigrated to the United States
through the portal of Ellis Island. These future Americans would challenge the
capacity of the eastern cities and the patience of white Anglo-Saxon protestant
culture, but America
would respond to the challenge and emerge a better and more diverse
culture. Today, America is
being tested again by a massive influx of immigrants from the south and the fearful
specter of possibly dangerous visitors from the Muslim world, the Muslim fundamentalists (it
should be noted that not all Arabs and Persians are Muslims), not only alien, but home
grown too. Should the U.S. close its
borders and retreat into isolationism or recognize the inevitability of living
in a globalized world?
America is a
land built of immigrants, and American citizens are a modern breed of countless
races and cultures. An interview with Professor
Newton Crawford from Columbia University in Rolla, Missouri revealed his ancestors hailed from Ireland and Scotland,
though Crawfords have owned hundred of acres in south central Missouri for over a hundred years. The writer of this document, for another
example, traced her ancestry to five different cultures: Bohemia, Germany, England,
Scotland
and Cherokee Native American.
Consider the
current flux of immigration in America. Why the yearning to live in the United States? What do they want? Should immigrants be expected to assimilate,
such as learning English, as did those before them? What policies should the U.S. government
create, if any, regarding illegal aliens currently living within the border? For how long should the U.S. remain a nation of
immigrants? Should the U.S.
continue to open its arms to those seeking the same freedoms its fore fathers sought? Or, is it simply that post 9/11 Americans are
finding themselves more racist than ever before?
There are no clear
cut answers to this complex issue. This
nation, a democracy that requires a singular respect of law, also has a
Constitution that currently grants rights to all people living in the United States. Is this to be followed to the letter or should
caveats be initiated to protect the American Dream?
As we move towards
the 2008 elections, this issue drives both political parties, and could, in
fact, make or break the next president of the United States of America. Part of searching for solutions is listening
to the voices of the individuals most affected, the immigrants. Students in the ESL
program at Donnelly College in Kansas
welcomed the opportunity to offer their insight and share their dreams in an
unchained America.
In different words and accents, their voices echo as one: We are the people from around the world who have traveled to a land of
freedom for our share of happiness and a home for the brave. We want to be accepted. We want to know you. We want to learn from you as you learn from
us. We want to keep our traditions and
language while learning yours. We have a
multitude of voices. Together, we have
one voice that asks for a chance, the same chance you have.
My name is Nayere,
and I’m thirty-five years old. I am from
Tehran, Iran, and I speak three languages,
Persian, Turkish and English. I want to
tell you about my life. I went to Aushera School and graduated from high school at
eighteen. My family lives in Iran,
and I haven’t seen them since 2003. This
is my life.
My country had a
problem with my religion. There were no
job opportunities, no socializing, no freedom of speech and no police
protection because of my religion. When
I was young, my neighbor’s children beat me up.
This is my life.
I became a
refugee, so the government paid for my ticket, and I rode the bus to Turkey where I
lived for a short time. They said I
could go to the US,
but I didn’t want to. Then, they said I
could go to New Zealand,
and I didn’t want to. I wanted to go to Australia
where some of my friends lived. I told
them I had money to pay for a ticket to Australia. Then, they said I had to leave Turkey and fly to the United States. I miss my family and friends in my
country. I miss Persian foods, clothing,
holiday parties and customs. This is my
life.
My favorite
holiday in my country is New Years.
Everybody has a two week holiday.
People clean house and change things.
They buy new clothes, for instance.
Old and young visit each other and give gifts. They celebrate the New Year together. My favorite tradition from Iran is Nineteen days. Before New Years, we put our money together
to help families without their fathers, poor families and people who are sick.
In the US, I
am working at local hospital. I serve
the patients their meals. This is my life. The hardest challenge for me is to learn
English better. I like the U.S. because
everybody has freedom of speech and religion.
Also, we have opportunities to work and socialize with anyone we want
to!
I am taking
English classes because I need to read my mail and pay my bills. Also, I want to talk to people and find a
better job. I like my classmates and
working together. I enjoy making new
friends.
The most difficult
thing in my life is living alone, being alone in a foreign country. This is my life. The most important thing about me is that I
am persistent and have a good sense of humor.
My dream is to live in Jerusalem
some day. I am thankful for my job and
the opportunity to learn English. This is my life.
My name is G. I.
and I’m from Somalia in Africa. I’m twenty-five
years old and have three children. I
have four brothers and a husband who live in Kansas City with me.
When I was a
child, there was a drought that blew out everything. Most of our animals died, and there was no
food or water. Later, I had to leave Somalia
because of the war. When the civilian
war broke out, I walked five hundred kilometers in seven days on foot where my
life was in danger from the soldiers as well as wild animals. I fled to Kenya where I became a
refugee. UNHCR gave me resettlement to
the USA. I traveled from the Dagahaley refugee camp to
GOAL in Nairobi where I waited for my flight for
one month before flying to the USA.
Here, I like the
education, health, security and technology.
I don’t have a job now because I hurt my back. My goals are to be a sufficient, educated
person and to help my relatives and country become educated. I am grateful for the government of Kenya who gave me hospitality, UNHCR who gave me
food, shelter and water, IAM who took me to the USA and Catholic Charities who
warmly welcomed me when I first arrived.
My name is Brahim,
and I am from Fes, Morocco. I’m twenty-four years old and speak Arabic,
French and a little English. I have nine
brothers and sisters, and my father taught while my mom stayed home. In my country, I left my family to go to a
small city to continue high school.
Then, I graduated from Fes
University when I was
twenty.
In June 2005, I
left my country and traveled to the U.S. to build a better life by
working and finishing my education. I
flew from the Casablanca Airport to JFK
Airport. I took a taxi to another airport, but the cab
driver took a long way around and charged me two hundred dollars. I missed my plane and spent the night at the
airport until I could take another plane.
Now I am living in
the U.S.
happy and comfortable, but I still miss my country. I miss Moroccan food, my neighborhood, my
friends, and I miss too much my mother and father and all my family. Life is nice here, though. I see all new things in this land of
opportunity and freedom. No one can
touch my opinion, direction, religion or race.
I work at a local
hotel. My job is room service and
banquet server. I get orders for people
who call by phone, and I deliver what they need. I respect every person and think anyone can
be better with patience and ambition. I
am taking English classes because I want to speak and listen to American people
very well, get a good job and finish my education. I like my classmates. Every person has a
private dream. Mine is to be an
excellent English speaker and to become rich so I can get what I want and help
others. I am grateful I can learn.
My name is
Comfort, and I am a fifty year old woman from Liberia. I have four sisters and three brothers and
five children. I left my country due to
war. First of all, I fled to a neighbor
country, but there was war in that country too.
Then, I flew in a plane to the US.
Before we left Africa, the plane
reached an area where there were mountains that stopped the plane from
going. Everyone was afraid. Finally, we took off again and made it to the
US. I miss my children, brothers and sisters who
are still in my country.
I used to work at
a local factory. Any job God blesses me
to find, I’ll do it. What I like most
about the U.S.
is that they love the elderly and the children.
The most important thing about me is that I learn with understanding and
love to be with kids. My dream in life
is that I learn English to find a better job and help my family and other
people. I am grateful because God saved us
during the war, and now we are in America by the grace of the Almighty God.
My name is Miguel,
and I’m from Guatemala
and am twenty-six years old. I did not
graduate from high school. I left Guatemala because I wanted to see what life was
like in the USA and because
everybody talked about the USA
and how good it is for living and making good money. I came here because I wanted to buy an
American car, make money and live the American dream. I have not done that yet.
It took me three
weeks to get to Kansas. At the Mexican/USA border it was
difficult. I tried two times and finally
crossed the third time by walking for almost three days. When I reached Houston, Texas,
I took a bus the rest of the way. My
family still lives in Guatemala,
and I call them every week.
My job in the USA is
attending a warehouse as a professional operator of a forklift. I also work in a local restaurant as a prep
cook. No matter how hard I have to work
or how much I have to pay, I like that I can earn money and buy things here. My
dream is to become legal in the USA,
visit my family in Guatemala,
and own my own delivery business.
My name is
Abdullahi, and I am from Garasay, a small village in Somalia. I am twenty-five years old and speak three
languages, May-Maay, my mother tongue, Somali and English. I didn’t attend school in my country because
there were no schools in my village, and I left my country when I was eight
years old. I left my country because of
the endless civil war and famine. I
lived in a refugee camp in Kenya,
and I graduated high school at the age of eighteen there. My mother and my little sister came to the USA
with me, but the rest of my family, including my father, died. The most important thing about me is that I
was not killed in the civil war.
It was hard to become a refugee. Make sure, once your name is refugee, you are
not free. I mean you are under somebody
else. Therefore, you are kept as an
animal. Immigration asks you questions,
which makes you nervous. First, they ask
the people easy questions and you tell all your privacy. These interviews make many people who were
planning for a new life fail. Many people kill themselves or run mad when they
fail the interview. Immigration demanded
I forget my country, and now I am missing my country. I cannot see my beautiful farm. Where is the river I fished in? Where can I swim? Many people have forgotten or changed their
beautiful culture. For example, I
thought that we would keep our own culture, but the first week in the United States my
daughter called the police and I was given a warning. Now, I cannot discipline my child. I cannot demand for her to follow my religion
or my culture.
In the United States, I work as a clerk,
filling envelopes and sorting mail. My
goal is to finish learning English, earn a PHD and go back to my country to
save the people suffering over there.
My name is Luz,
and I am from Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. I graduated with an associate degree in my
country when I was nineteen. Now, I’m twenty-three. I have a wonderful family who supports each
other.
I left Mexico
in 2003, with my family who had a visa.
We came by bus, but it was a very interesting trip since none of us could
speak English. Everyone told us that
someone would speak Spanish, but we didn’t find anyone we could
understand. It took us thirty-six hours
to get to Kansas City. Now, my father
and I are here in the U.S.
while the rest of my family is back in Mexico. I am a preschool teacher and teach three to
four year old children. I love teaching
and helping children learn.
The most
challenging thing since I came to the U.S. is to learn to look very
careful for friends and boyfriends. Most
of the time I date someone, the first thing he wants is sex. He thinks because I went out with him he has
a right to do it. It’s been hard to find
someone who wants to be with me and not just wants sex. When I don’t give in, he talks about me and
start rumors. The boys all tell me that America
is different and it’s better if I do it.
When they see that I’m serious, they try to ruin my life. They lie and tell my friends untrue stories,
follow me, call me and even text inappropriate messages. To be a virgin is challenging for me in the U.
S.
The hardest thing
in my life is to believe in myself, to believe that I am smart, beautiful,
friendly, mature and strong. The hardest
thing is to believe that I’m not big, to believe that I’m pretty. It’s hard because of the people telling me
that I’m fat and that nobody will look at me, want to go out with me.
What I miss the
most from my country is my family, especially my niece and nephew. I won’t see them growing up. I won’t see their eyes and face and listen to
their voices as they grow older. They
are my world. My everything. I can’t imagine how fast life is going and
all the good times I am missing with them.
I miss my family so much that at times I think about hopping the next
flight to Guadalajara. When I hang up the phone after talking to
them, my heart hurts. Nothing is more
important than my family. I’d die for
them if necessary.
I love the houses
in America. The houses look just like the ones in the
children’s books my mom used to read me.
All my life I dreamed of seeing the houses and living inside them. They look like the magic stories for kids.
I’m taking English
classes because it is important to learn other languages. It’s critical for my career and personal
experience and opportunities. My English
class is very good, and I’m learning new things every day. I firm my skills and practice them. I enjoy my classmates, and we try to help
each other. We respect each other’s
opinion.
My goal is to get
a Master’s degree and be a business woman.
I always dreamed about owning and running my own business. I’m grateful to have the family God gave
me. I am blessed because I have a very
loving, understanding, supporting family.
We always worry about and help each other. I will do whatever it takes to make them
happy.
My name is Maday,
and I am from Jilip, Somalia. I am twenty-one years old and speak five
languages, Arabic, Kiswahili, two dialects of Somali and English. I was born in a very big family. I am married and have a child.
I left my country
because of civil war and famine caused by the war which caused the whole
country to be devastated. When the civil
war began in my country, my family and I evacuated to Kenya, a neighboring country where
we stayed for several years at a refugee camp.
We applied for asylum under the UN and were approved to come to the U.S. We boarded a big plane from the capital of
Kenya to London where we changed planes to New York and then to Kansas City.
My job is to fill
and test the printer cartridge at a warehouse.
The most challenging thing for me in the U.S. is working hard with constant
supervision. In my country people are
used to having their own farms and businesses.
People in my country work on their farms whenever they want or have a
relative or friend work on their behalf if they are tired and need to rest or
are ill. I miss many things from my
country: friends, relatives, land and
beautiful farms with coconut trees, mangoes, lemons, beans and rice. My favorite tradition from my country is the
circumcision ceremony where many people come and tease the person who is going
to be circumcised if he/she cries.
I am a young,
hardworking man who has had a lot of work experience since I was ten years
old. I have tailor, manufacturing and
teaching skills. I struggle to study
well and make changes in the world’s situation.
I am taking English classes to attain my ambitions of becoming a great
journalist and working as a news correspondent.
My teachers have great skills and have previously taught in many
different countries around the world, so they are special teachers for me. My classmates are important. We help each other, love each other, and each
of us is from a different country. We
share experiences and talk to each other about our cultures and beliefs.
My dreams are to
become more efficient and have my own business instead of working for someone
else at an entry-level job. I am very
grateful to have opportunities to help other people. I am someone who likes to help people who are
in need. I help people by volunteering, and I am currently helping a community
called Somali Bantu community of Kansas.
This community consists of almost 93 families, four of which are literate and
can read, write, and speak English language.
However, the other 89 families are illiterate and can't read or speak
the English language at all, and they really need help to live in the United States.
I always help them voluntarily when I
have time for them. I help them with
interpretation, transportation, and homework.
I help adults in
the Somali Bantu community voluntarily with language interpretation when they
go to the health department to address their health issues, to the doctors, to
immigration departments to apply for permanent residents, and also to schools
to schools to talk to their children's teachers. Transportation is a major problem among the
Somali community in Kansas.
When I have a free time, I help the Somalis
who need help with transportation. I
help transport them to their work places, health departments, and shopping
centers needed. Since most of them are illiterate,
it is hard for them to get a driver’s license to drive or own a car, so that is
why I commit myself to helping them.
Although I help
adults in the Somali community, they also openly ask me to help their children
after school with homework because the children are helpless, and since their
parents don't understand or speak English, I help them. English is not their
first language. Helping people is what I
do with most of my free time. I am proud
of what I do for my community.
My name is Laura,
and I’m from Bogota, Colombia
in South America. I’m seventeen years old and have lived with
my cousin in Kansas City
since fifteen; I learned a lot from her, her two kids and from Americans. My mom, godparents and the rest of my family
are back in Colombia,
and I miss them so much. My mom is the
most important person in my life and my role model, though I haven’t seen her
in two years.
I left my country
because my mom wanted me to come and learn English to have a better life and
future. Her dad didn’t let her go when
she had the opportunity, and she didn’t want me to miss out like she did, even
though it meant that she would miss me so much.
The most
interesting story about my life is my birth.
My mom has told me the story many times, and it’s so meaningful to me
because I consider it a miracle. I was a
premature child because I was born at seven months and two weeks. It was a risky birth because while my mom was
in surgery, her heart pressure shot up too high. I was so little and very vulnerable that I
could have died during the trip from one room to the next. I was incubated for three months and in grave
condition because I couldn’t breathe by myself and the doctors didn’t have any
hope for me to live. My mom was
hospitalized as well and sad and depressed about me. One day the doctor told my mom I wasn’t
breathing at all, and it was not helpful to keep me connected to the
machines. The doctor asked her to sign
an order to disconnect me. She cried and
cried but gave them the signature, though she was devastated and suffering so
much. Suddenly, the doctor told her that
a really strange and unusual thing happened.
That morning I breathed by myself for the first time. My mom was so happy and proud and considered
me a gift from God. If she sees me
struggling with something, she says, “Laura, remember what a big warrior you
are! You’ve been battling since you were
in my belly. This is nothing compared
with what you had to pass through.
You’re my gift and treasure, so be strong!”
I am taking
English classes to improve my skills. I
love the way my classmates work hard and dedicate time and mind to learning
English. One of my favorite quotes is
from Greece: “Wisdom is having the knowledge of knowing
you know nothing.”
My name is Haile,
and I’m from Eritrea
and twenty-six years old. In my country,
every male has to go for military training at eighteen for national
service. I finished my service, but a
war started in Eritrea
so the government didn’t allow me to go back to my family. I went to Saudi Arabia for awhile until I had
a chance to come to the U.S.
I miss my family
and friends. I miss everything I did in
my country. I miss my culture and the
streets I walked on. In the United States, I
used to bus tables, but now I am a host and cashier at a local restaurant. My goal is to finish ESL classes and get a
high school diploma.
My name is Ruslan,
and I am from the Republic
of Uzbekistan. I am twenty-five years old and speak four
languages, Uzbek, Russian, Turkish and English.
I graduated from school in my country when I was seventeen years
old. I traveled here to study and make
good money. I miss everything in my
country: my parents, brothers, sisters,
friends, food, culture, life… I don’t
have a job here and am a student.
My name is Lourdes, and I’m from Santa Barbara, Honduras
and am twenty-six years old. I attended
college until I was twenty. I have a big
family, though my dad died three years ago.
My mom lives alone in Honduras, and the rest of us live in Miami,
California or Kansas City. The hardest
thing about my childhood was when I didn’t eat because my mother didn’t have
enough money to buy food.
I came to the U.S. because my husband was here and the income
I made in Honduras
wasn’t enough to live on. I supported my
son, went to college and wanted to buy a house.
Finally, I was so disappointed that I decided to leave my country for
something new. I started to travel with
my son by bus from Honduras
to Mexico. Sometimes I walked, took a boat, rode in
trucks or swam. I did whatever it took
to get to America. The most challenging thing here is that I
don’t have social security, a driver’s license or family insurance. The weather is hard for me too. I miss the weather, food, friends and studies
in Honduras, but I like the
security in America. I work as a kitchen manager at Chipotle’s,
and my responsibilities include cooking, organizing food on the shelves and
supporting the others.
First of all, my
name is Omar, and I’m twenty-two years old.
I was born in southern Somalia,
and my nationality is Somali Bantu. My
family had gardens, and their job was working on a commercial agricultural
plantation. The opportunities to garden
or farm provide benefits that go far beyond improving their tuition and earning
extra income through the sale of surplus food.
I speak May-Maay (my first language), Kiswahili, Arabic, Somali and a
little English. In Somalia, we
have a lot of tribes. I can’t describe
them, but my tribe is called Bantu, people trying to get food (hunters and
gatherers called bushman) and living in the forests. My tribe lived in a fertile region where the
population grew with the aid of the very productive crops like banana, corn and
grains.
In 1991, I was six
years old and civil war broke out in our area.
In fact, our life became unbearable, and we ran out of the country to
seek protection as refugees. The
fighting had been going on for at least one year, and a lot of people
died. Many of our people were killed
while they were walking. The bandits
just started shooting, raping women and attacking. Bantu tribes were the biggest victims of the
civil war that broke out that year. That
is why we decided to move to another country.
After we arrived
in Kenya, the UNHCR gave us resettlement to reside in a small town which they
called Hagadera Refugee Camp, an area like forest. Three to four families had to share items
like dishes, bowls, rice, oil and sugar.
Many started moving into town, and they gave food every fifteen days, so
we had to make it last.
After two years,
the town was full of people, and I made friends, worked, played soccer and
studied both at school and at Madrasa, the school of my religion. I went to school five days a week. I woke up at five and showered before going
to Madrasa. Afterwards, I ate breakfast,
showered again and went to school. When
I returned home at four, I had to shower again before going to a private school
to study grammar. I was really busy but
enjoyed it.
I still remember
what happened in my country because Somalia is a place of great
suffering with famine, war and crime.
Anyone looking for a simple-minded good-guy/bad-guy viewpoint should
stop reading right now because this story, like all stories, is more
complicated than that.
As I was studying,
the USA gave resettlement to 13,000 Somali Bantu to settle in fifty American
cities, so they collected us from the refugee camps to Kakuma, Kenya, a
different town where we stayed awhile.
They fixed our family names and told us our flight was ready. We walked to the market for shopping to
prepare ourselves. The next day, we came
to an office building. My family with
ten other families listened as they called our names. We boarded the bus to downtown so we could
take the plane, heading for the land of the free.
My name is Yazmin,
and I am from Veracruz, Mexico. I’m twenty-nine years old and graduated from
high school at eighteen. I wanted to go
on adventures, and a friend told me that America is a place where you can
make money to travel. I crossed the
border from Mexico to the USA by
paying a “pollero” eight hundred dollars to show me how to cross.
My first challenge
here was transportation to work at a local restaurant because I didn’t have a
car and didn’t even know how to drive. I
was lucky because I was young and my friends and boyfriends taught me how to
drive. After that, language is the
biggest challenge. I miss my family,
especially my grandma, and the fresh food and flavors (like Tamales de Elote
and Zapotes). I like how clean the city
is and how friendly the people are in Kansas
City.
The hardest thing
growing up was having an alcoholic father who beat my mom when he was
drunk. I had to grow up too fast to help
protect my mom from my dad. I left my
home at age thirteen.
I’m very friendly,
talk a lot but listen too. I have lots
of stories to tell. I love God, and I
love people too. My dream is to learn
English very well and have a good career.
I want to always be a good example to my daughters. I want to have a house of my own. Finally, I want to fix my legal situation
because I really want to be legal in this country.
Like the citizens who stand beside them for employment, to
worship, to achieve quality of life, they hope and dream for a better life in a
land populated with people from all over the world who have merged into
Americans. Having left homes, loved ones and traditions, they search for a
chance at life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Lawmakers and voters can
decide the fate of immigrants by weighing what immigration has done for the
country, using the short, rich history of the United States to guide them
toward parameters that benefit the new immigrants as well as the rest of the
American population, immigrants all of them.
As George Santayana once
said, “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat
it.”
Should the U.S. continue
current immigration policies created in 1965 or go in a new direction? Where will that lead us? Should we choose alienation and fear? Who will we be? What will we lose?
The solutions to the
burning issues of modern immigration will usher in a stronger, unified America
or alter the land of the free forever.
*******Special
thanks to the students of Donnelly College in Kansas
for sharing their stories.
********Professor Newton Crawford helped with the information from the opening.
*******Originally published in Present Magazine in Kansas City, Missouri in Fall 2008.
In the past two years, I have lost several more
people who were special to me. It’s hard to be in this world without them. We
will never again be who we were before losing them, and I feel such a deep
sadness, anger, and fear inside now. The sorrow permeates everything in this
new world, new normal, new me, and the anxiety is easy to see—too many awful
things happening in our country, in the world, all the time now. But I didn’t realize
the rage until last week when I was triggered into a memory of the moment my
mom called to tell me that my uncle had died. If I think about it, I can still
feel that moment and my body’s reaction as if it is happening right now. And,
when I thought about it last week, I was livid that UD died, that the doctors
didn’t catch it in time and help him, that God allowed it to happen, that we
have to live in this world without him now. 
And last year, I wrote of how I needed this,
needed to focus for a few minutes every day on something positive, on seeing
beauty, noticing blessings, and acknowledging kindness. 
