Dear UD,
I walk around the lake, grateful for the
cooler temps and the sunshine peeking between rain clouds. The trees are green,
and ducks dive for fish creating a gentle splash in the water. For a few
moments, I forget the war in Ukraine, the rising gas prices, the astronomical
increases in rent, the lower student enrollment impacting schools around the
country, and the tumult over the recent pandemic.
In this moment, I’m just a woman walking
in nature, putting one foot in front of the other as I breathe deeply and enjoy
the crisp breeze.
One step. And then the next.
Abruptly, I spy green shoots springing up
through the dirt, and I am stunned. Paralyzed by an overwhelming grief that
sprouts from my heart and throughout my body. Signs of spring will always and
forever remind me of you, Uncle David, and of mom, and I didn’t expect to see
that one here in Florida. I kneel down, gazing at this reminder of beauty,
hope, and renewal. A reminder of you and mom. So many memories flood my mind of
hunting for signs of spring with you and mom. As I pause to take it in, the
grief flows through and out, and I am filled with memory and love.
Today is your seventh birthday in heaven,
UD. Seven birthdays without you here on this earth. Seven years of missing you.
Same for dad…seven birthdays without him, seven years of missing him. And this
year brings the fourth birthday without mom, four years of missing her.
Every day, I still miss you so much, miss
mom, miss dad. Wish I could talk to you all again, share birthdays together,
eat your specially crafted omelet and mom’s homemade rolls, play Bridge or
Spades, and hear your voices and laughter. Each year that passes both dulls the
ache of the loss yet sharpens the twist of living life without you. How I wish
you had all had more time with us here. How I wish you were all here now and
part of DJ’s life. I know you all watch over him from heaven, and he will know
you all through memories, lessons, legacies passed down from you to me to my
daughters and now to their children.
Happy birthday, UD. Thank you for the memories, the foundation of time together and unconditional love, and your model of creativity and excellence.
Love, Rach
