This
spring break is like none other in my lifetime. The weekend before spring
break officially began, the college where I work decided to suspend face-to-face
classes in light of the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic sweeping the globe. Even
though I knew it was coming, it is a devastating development. I teach both
online and face-to-face, and not only do I prefer face-to-face, but it is also better
for those students who choose it. On top of that, we had to cancel all college
events, including graduation. Moreover, Americans have been advised to remain
home as much as possible, to practice “social distancing,” and to wash our
hands often. So, schools have closed, social events have been postponed or cancelled,
bars and nightclubs have closed, many restaurants have closed, even some dental
offices have closed, our community pool has closed, and now beach parking and/or
some beaches have been closed. This has all happened in China first, then
Europe, and now here. The world shut down.
As
humans, we are programmed with fight or flight, and I have been “fighting” in
terms of preparing for survival with trips to Publix and Target as well as
online ordering. I haven’t taken an ungodly amount of food or necessities like cold
medication and toilet paper (like some have fought to do); however, I have
prepared for a two-month shut down. I pray that it doesn’t come, but because I
have been listening to primary sources from China, Italy, Spain, and France, I
want to be prepared for the worst. Because of being hyper aware right now, every
day feels like a week. And, I am dealing with additional grief because, with
all of this “fighting,” I want so much to be able to call my mom and talk to
her about it, to hear her say that I’ll be okay. Or, I want to have the option
to go to her house and shelter in place where she would be well stocked from
living on the family farm. As it is, I cannot imagine being home alone for
weeks, let alone months. To not see others in person, to not be blessed with hugs
and smiles. If it comes to that, how will I manage it?!
While
Americans are focused on the pandemic on all social media rather than politics
and other typical topics, people are still on opposing sides: those who believe
it’s all just a hype or hoax or conspiracy versus those who are preparing for Armageddon
and obeying the new regulations that come every day, every hour. And those two
sides are still butting heads: those who mock the other side for preparing
versus those who rail at anyone not following the new guidelines.
This
is all unprecedented and such a historic time in our country and world. All of
this—the headlines about what is happening in the rest of the world, now in the
United States, as well as preparing for the pandemic and seeing our country
still so divided—has been stressful and traumatic and exhausting.
The
exchange students are being sent back home, and in fact, all over the world, people
are being recalled to their country of origin. Everything is at a standstill as
everyone is going home. Because my Italian student had not yet visited
Sebastian Inlet, we went there yesterday, taking a short time in the midst of
this chaos for some spring break fun and fresh air, though we made sure to obey
the mandates to maintain distance from others and wash our hands after touching
something. Per normal, I took photos and documented the occasion, sharing it on
Facebook, and I sensed some judgment or chastisement from some FB friends. Perhaps
the comments were not meant that way, but this is an added stressor after an
attempt to decompress, unwind, relax. And the comments were perhaps not even meant
for me, but instead for those spring break party goers who congregated at the
beach like sardines in a tin can, ruining it for all of us. After three days of
crowded beaches in Brevard County, our beach parking is being shut down. According
to the news, by tomorrow morning, we will not be able to park at the beaches.
Therefore,
today, I went back to the beach. While there were too many people there, at
least they were all staying in small groups away from each other. I stayed far
away from others, but I was able to take a long walk on the beach. It could be
my last walk at the beach for the foreseeable future. As I breathed in the
salty air and heard the call of the seagulls, I felt the weight of the past few
weeks fall away. I turned my mind to gratitude. Deprivation is something that
brings focus and clarity, and right now, I still have much to be grateful for. I’m
grateful for the sunshine that touches my face and skin. I’m grateful for the
roar of the ocean waves as they kiss the shore. I’m grateful for my health and
the security of being able to work online and still have money to pay bills. I’m
grateful for my daughters and their health. I’m grateful for my family and friends
and their health and thankful that we will be able to stay in touch through smartphones
and social media. I appreciate the humorous pandemic posts and memes that have
helped me find laughter this week, and I appreciate that social media can be a
source of connection and comfort during this time. I am blessed and privileged to
be able to prepare and stock up, and I’m thankful for my cats who are in this
with me. I’m grateful for the acts of kindness that I have witnessed and read about
this week. I’m grateful for nature and its calming effect. And, I’m grateful
for God and my faith in Him. 
